Sunday, 2 September 2012

Dedication to my husband.

Hubby feeding our son when he was five weeks old.
I am celebrating him today because tomorrow is our wedding anniversary, we will have been married for three years.


My husband has Psoriatic arthritis in nearly every place of his body and where bones are not affected he has psoriatic rash. If he isn't in a lot of pain he is itchy. He got this illness aged twenty. It is different to my form of arthritis, whilst it is the immune system attacking itself,eating at joints over night,similar to Juvenile arthritis, his body destroys the joint then attempts to rebuild it but kind of gets the instructions wrong! Marks arthritis would be hopeless at following IKEA instructions! It will try to re grow a knee joint for example but instead of growing a round bone it will stick a huge pole of bone on it, so he has odd lumps on joints which restricts movement.


So he stands a lovely six foot tall, he is not an average sized forty year old, slim thanks to not drinking I suspect but also because our illnesses eat muscles as well, if his body re grew muscles I would be sleeping with Popeye!


His ankles looks like a Christmas star, all pointy. Nearly every day a bit of bone spur breaks, often the new bone growth will fuse a joint which is great in that breaking can't occur but it means that the once moveable joint becomes static and very restricted in movement which makes tasks such as driving where you need ankle movement, quite tough.


However my husband is a great man. He is a great father and my best friend. Over the last three months when I have been totally wheelchair bound, he has single handedly parented our son and been my only carer. If he isn't helping me dress and washed, he is getting our son dressed.If he isn't getting me my lunch, he is getting our sons lunch, if he isn't there cheering me up,he is there making our son laugh. Despite extreme pain he stands up, gets out of bed and faces the whole day again.I hear his bone spikes snap ,he rarely moans, I hear him struggle to undo something, swearing at packaging and ten minuets later managed to undo a milk carton.I hear him drop cereal all over the floor ,due to his poor hand grip, followed by a hopeful Labrador getting up to see if the commotion involves food!


He gets the washing done, lifting a basket of clothes shoots pain in his shoulders, he sighs and carries on. I entertain our son but I can not do much at the moment apart from read and play on the bed and of course our son is crawling so he can not leave us for a moment whilst our little man is up.He hardly sits down all day, he has just brought me a cup of tea,vacuumed, fed our son,made me lunch, put washing on, changed the bed sheets, changed our son,came and sat with us and was our small mans climbing frame,put our son to bed and finally he can rest for an hour, my only thought reading all this back is blooming heck we maybe should demand a carer comes in to help us but he and I feel too proud to have that really.


When Mark sits down he produces amazing art work in the hope some art company might see him.Some of these pieces take weeks due to him having to paint awkwardly but he perseveres and ....well....the pictures speak for themselves:

Mark won Student of the year for an art diploma he took a while ago.

A sixties piece done for our sixties home hallway.
Work stolen from a New York Gallery Surreal exhibition, any one sees it let us know!
My favourite picture "Mop" by Mark Jephcott
If you stand still for too long in our house you get drawn on!

In an hour he will get up and start the afternoon chores, he will change my son, get sons tea, get our tea, help me shower, help me dress, dress son for bed, I will entertain son so he can sit watching but at least he can rest,he will put our son to bed,make cups of tea,unload dishwasher,re load it, tidy up after our son, get more washing out the dryer. He will then come be with me and I don't think he as any idea how proud I am of him. His get up and go, his determination to keep trying in his art and as a physically ill man. He never quits. He never says he can not do something (not publicly anyway), he can't drive anymore because it is getting to a stage where he doesn't feel safe now as his feet cramp and go numb etc. He refuses to sit in a wheelchair despite doctors suggesting he does. I love him more than the day we got married, he is a real man, no matter how tough the elements are he strives to get through each day and find something good at the end of it. Mark Jephcott thank you for coming into my life and being my best friend and giving me a lovely child and being fantastic. Happy anniversary darling x

My attempt at art, ok no one said I was the artist in the family!


Marks art work and poems can be found in a zillion places but he writes a blog called Crappiest blog ever, go to


No comments:

Post a Comment